Welcome to Unregulated to Regulated — my small corner of the internet where I write about rebuilding the nervous system, stress management, invisible illness, recovery, and learning how to live slowly in a culture addicted to speed.
Short Synopsis
Nearly thirty years ago, shortly after getting sober, I found myself studying Buddhism in Thailand, and I nearly shaved my head, but I didn’t—that came later. One teaching I encountered was the concept of the Hungry Ghost—a being who was forever searching, consuming, and chasing, yet never fully satisfied. At the time, I thought it was about addiction. Today, after a nervous system collapse, years in the wellness industry, and decades of recovery, I think it may be describing something much deeper.
Inside This Piece
The Buddhist teaching that took me thirty years to understand
What trauma researchers have discovered about the nervous system
Why achievement, optimization, and self-improvement can become substitutes for safety
The difference between searching and healing
In 1998, not long after getting sober, I found myself living in Thailand studying Buddhism at a forest wat. I was young, curious, and trying to make sense of a life that had changed dramatically in a short period of time. Sobriety had removed alcohol from the equation, but like many people in recovery, I was still trying to understand what exactly I had been looking for all those years. Why was I chasing… something?
One of the teachings I encountered during that time was the concept of the Hungry Ghost.
Recently in one of my classes, I taught about the Buddhist, Hungry Ghost, which are often depicted as beings with enormous stomachs and impossibly narrow throats. No matter how much they consume, they can never feel satisfied.
